Representative Lawrence Lockman, who believes that if we’re able to make our own healthcare decisions, he should have the legal and moral right to brutalize us, and also that rape is non-violent, allows men to be “free”, and that abortion kills babies (none of those things are true).
WHY IS THIS MAN STILL IN OFFICE??? Yeah, there’s no war on women my ass.
More rape apology from Pro Life.
Hey everyone -
A few weeks back I put out word that I wanted to come put on stand up shows in peoples’ houses. I thought it would be a fun way to get out there and try out new material. I figured maybe some people would be into it.
We got over 200 requests for house shows. I was both flattered and also logistically overwhelmed.
We are going to do seven of these in November. If they go well, I’d love to do more. It’s cool to see people excited to host these and comics excited to do these. So to the other 193 people who offered their homes - THANK YOU and I hope someday me and my pals can visit ALL of your homes. As long as these seven aren’t total disasters hopefully we will!
I am genuinely having so much anxiety about Friday. One of the ways I am getting through it (aside from benzodiazepines) is reading the comments you have left and messages sent reminding me i am not alone and that it’s not only okay to open up about mental illness but it’s incredibly important to cultural growth. If I have read your messages and you see that I have “seen” it but not responded it’s only due to lack of energy and not personal. If I want to help and support all the artists I love so much and complete the projects I have going this is what needs to happen. This is like some form of public self-talk and if it makes you freaked out or uncomfortable that I am even more grateful to be posting it. Throughout my life I have been told it’s unprofessional to speak of these things and I refuse to be part of that status quo. There is nothing unprofessional about being honest and genuine with people you interact with daily (in person or on social media) and trying to change unhealthy expectations we put on ourselves and our fellow humans to avoid being seen as something less-then rather then experiencing life in all its complex difficulties and wonderfulness alike.
People have commented that they are shocked/had no idea how things were going for me and that is part of why I am talking about it so much right now. Like an explosion of so many little things I have needed to express but couldn’t. Being terrified to admit and show how much you are struggling is crippling and what leads to shock when people we love commit suicide. Having these conversations promotes longer lives and less psychic pain for many.
Tonight I am trying to find ways to keep my mind off of the unknown of Friday morning. How long will I be there? Will I be freaking out that I can’t have any of my technological distractions when I need them or will I be grateful for the break? What will people be thinking of me? How did things get this bad? Will I be able to sleep or will I sit up all night and try to pass the time with books and paper-journal writing? How painful will it be - forced to sit with thoughts I have been avoiding and how will I handle that without being able to pop in a movie or reach for unhealthy distractions.
The only thing I can do is just do it and document it so others will know what to expect if they need to do this for themselves. There is so much mystery about it and that adds to the stereotypes/stigma. Whenever I find myself in uncomfortable situations I do what my dad taught me- just step outside of it for a bit and observe it. Write about it. I will always do that and it always helps. It is how I am able to share this right now.
Not many in my family survived Bipolar but I will.
I wrote a post here earlier tonight and I shared it on Facebook. That was way harder then Ello or Tumblr. But I knew if I was serious about ending shame that I should post it where I knew many more people would see it as well. I am overwhelmed by the love and support and ended up writing a rather lengthy comment response. I figured it was worth pasting here for those not on my FB. xo
I will admit I have tears of relief in my eyes from all of your genuine kindness, support, and willingness to share your own personal experiences with mental illness (not just with me but everyone who is in the thread). I consider that a big deal and not feeling alone is such a huge piece of the puzzle. As some of you said above- the more we speak out the more we realize we have in common and can kill those soul crushing stigmas/assumptions/cultural and internalized barriers that keep us afraid of seeking self-care.
When you get the flu nobody judges your need to see a doctor to get antibiotics In fact they think your nuts if you don’t and beg you not to come into work- regurgitating all the old “drink lots of fluids!” “get lots of rest” “did i mention lots of fluids?”
Imagine if instead you told your boss/friend/partner you had the flu and they rolled their eyes- considered you weak for not being able to fight off the virus yourself without needing medication. And God-forbid you need to go into a medical facility for the issue.
The stigma is real (for all of us who suffer and those who love people who do) even if we don’t have a mental illness the idea of feeling sad is seen as a weakness. It’s so deeply engrained that we need to be smiling all the time and always be “pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps” and why don’t we all just “snap out of it.”
And to bring gender into the mix (because I know how popular of a thing that is to do) as a woman (as women) we are just considered “hysterical” (I love that that word is based in female anatomy at its root). and the fear of being public makes it all so much more challenging. When you are a known in the community as (even in the small way that I am with WiHM) there are many people who blog about the reasons I am a crazy feminist to begin with. When you are fighting for something and want to be taken seriously you risk the stigma when you out yourself as actually proving someone else right. “Oh wow- I saw she is going into the hospital and has had to do it before. I guess she is just a crazy feminist.” These are thoughts - only thoughts but they are my thoughts none the less. Even though men face the stigma there is a difference in how that stigma plays out in our culture. Men are supposed to be stoic and “ masculine “ - to show signs of depression (even going to the doctor) can be seen as being less of a man. So this goes both ways and it is damaging to all of us. Nobody should ever feel guilty or afraid to tell someone they have a sickness and yet anything in the brain is somehow a character flaw; an indication that you are a mental case raving looney who needs to be locked in a padded room.
Wow- this is long. To go back to my original point- I was ridiculously close to not posting this status update. I almost deleted it after the fact but in my heart I knew that it was important. I feared responses (which could still happen but I don’t care) such as “wow- I never want to work with her again because what if she has a breakdown” or I worry that future employers will see my posts and go with the candidate who didn’t openly admit they needed help. even though some of these examples are more specific i imagine i am not alone whatsoever in these sorts of thoughts when the concept of telling people about your mental illness comes up.
This is me. I am not ashamed. I am beyond grateful for each of you. Let us never be silent.